Transformers Texts From Last Night
(781): And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming “THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME”

(781): And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming “THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME”

(773): we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.

(773): we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.

(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?(1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
(1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

(631): 10/10 dentist agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentist.

(631): 10/10 dentist agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentist.

(516): I’m trying to be all porn star and he’s making it all The Notebook

(516): I’m trying to be all porn star and he’s making it all The Notebook

(630): What eyeshadow color says “yes I am at the dentist and yes I am hungover please don’t judge my life choices.”

(630): What eyeshadow color says “yes I am at the dentist and yes I am hungover please don’t judge my life choices.”

(716): It will be interesting(585): Isn’t that your life’s motto?

(716): It will be interesting
(585): Isn’t that your life’s motto?

(503): Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?

(503): Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?

this blog is perfect. i got into a comment photo war and your blog helped me win

Then all our efforts have not been in vain.

(315): See this is what happens when we don’t have sex every day.

(315): See this is what happens when we don’t have sex every day.

(847): We’re keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick’s Day

(847): We’re keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick’s Day

(904): it glows. i had to have it.

(904): it glows. i had to have it.

(212): He doesn’t deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?

(212): He doesn’t deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?

(212): He’ll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.

(212): He’ll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.