(202): He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap’n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having “Captain Jack” for breakfast. I don’t know how he’s alive and employed. I hope the Cap’n calls in sick for him today.
(712): Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
(703): Turns out you can’t chew it over with twix in real life
(541): Dude I’ve never seen anyone get slapped that hard
(214): friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
(412): wtf…you literally introduced yourself as “that friend who’s going to fuck all your other friends.”
(239): I hope you know that means regardless of thier gender.
(254): We’re all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.